the ultimate accessory

Almost every girl I know lately has a gay best friend. They do all the things one would expect a straight girl-gay guy couple to do - perve on boys, go shopping, whinge about the size of their butt... They can pass out in the same bed after too much boozing and no one would bat an eyelid or start devious little rumours.

The Rainman fits into that role almost perfectly, except he's not gay. He has terrible dress sense and his fat bits are located elsewhere, but we go shopping together and I'll point out hot chicks that he should talk to but is too shy. Or lazy. Sometimes I wish he was gay - I don't know why, it really doesn't matter who he doesn't sleep with. Is it because having a gay best friend is the trendy thing right now?

I actually did have a gay best friend once, in high school. I think I drove him away by feigning homophobia just to get him to come out. He moved away after graduation and I never heard from him again, despite my weak attempts to track him down through his stepmother. He committed suicide a couple of years ago. High school was tough but he never let anything phase him. Life after school must have been tougher. I'm sorry.

tricky

If I can catch it, I'm going to feed the neighbours' rooster to the trick-or-treaters.

excuses

I blame daylight savings for my latest essay being late. And for me being a total nasty to my coworkers. I also blame my new diet.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if I started smoking again.

Aussie friendship

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the dirty bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had a root.

4. When you are scared - I will give you shit about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to stop your bloody whinging.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again, I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy arse.

This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend.

Send this to ten of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two, and one of them isn't speaking to you right now anyway.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.

So let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.

tuning in

FINALLY iTunes store has come to Aus. I've been hanging for it ever since I got my iPod - if for no other reason than to get the weekly freebie.

ballsy

I was in a certain department store at lunchtime to buy desperately needed underwear for KK, as he has never-in-his-life-bought-underwear-and-is-not-about-to-start-now. Aren’t I the most spectacular girlfriend ever for tolerating this stubbornness? It’s only fair I guess – I’ve sent him out for emergency tampons on more than one occasion. So I got him one of those seven-packs – one for every day of the week – in solid colours, none of those weird patterned undies thank you.

At the checkout the girl asked "Are these for your boyfriend?"

I wanted to laugh and tell her "No honey, these are for me. I know women’s underwear is so much more comfortable, but at the moment they just don’t offer the support I need. They won’t be able to finish the job for a few more months yet, and I can’t wait! They did such a good job on my boobies…"

Instead I just nodded, paid the girl and left. I don’t have the balls to make a crack like that to a stranger (pun definitely intended).

meme this

So, I was visiting the blog of my latest blog-crush Mel this morning and she has one of those meme-thingys as her latest post. I don’t normally do these (I only recently learned what ‘meme’ actually means), but I liked her answers and it’s Monday morning and I’m not ready to actually do any work yet. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours…

7 things I want to do before I die
Tour the Andes
Learn to ride a motorbike
Go skydiving
Become art director of a famous glossy, yet intelligent, women’s/arts magazine
Buy a few hundred acres outside Canberra (or Brisbane) and set up an art studio
Make an incredibly indulgent short film no one will ever see until I get trashed and force them to watch (and like) it
Actually do at least half of those things

7 things I cannot do
Travel in time
Stick to a diet
Get to work on time (if they want me to be at work by 8.30, they should make the start time 8.00)
Enjoy sci-fi
Play the harmonica
Sit on public toilet seats (or drink water from a tap in a public bathroom)
Reverse park my car (I can do a pretty mean burn out though)

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
Smiles with his eyes
Huge biceps
Willing to explore the world and try new things
Good personal hygiene
Likes my cooking, even when I burn it
Loves animals
Respects his friends and family

7 things that I say most often
But, seriously…
WTF?
So, anyway…
What the hell were you thinking!
I can’t work under these conditions
Now, how about that beer?
Hey! Watch this…

7 celebrity crushes
Jude Law
Eddie Vedder (but only with the long hair)
Edward Norton
Gary Sinese
Megan Mullally
George Clooney
Robert Sean Leonard

artcore - the results are in

I'd like to say the event went off without a hitch, but that would be a lie. The power kept cutting out, as the building clearly wasn't wired to cope with amps and lighting and sound systems and the numerous tvs set up showing film. However, we managed to pull quite a crowd, shop sales were good, and the overall opinion of the day was positive. Next time we're having beer though.

Me and the smoking alien-baby-in-a-bunny-suit:



My favourite sculpture:



Creator of my favourite sculpture, Sarah, at The Big Draw:



More art from The Big Draw:



Next year we hope it will be bigger, but not all in one day. It was fun, but I'm stuffed!

showing off

the new girl is making "the old girl" look bad: lazy and incompetent. makes it hard to justify that promotion she got. so i think the new girl is a shoo-in for permanancy. guess i better start liking her then.

artcore

Looking for something to do tomorrow? Being the last day of Floriade I imagine everyone is sick of flowers by now, so instead, come check out some cool bands, djs, art, installations, film, poetry slam, live stencilling and a fashion show.



I'll be manning the shop. I don't know whose great idea it was to put me in charge of the shop. But we'll have some pretty good stuff there... mags, zines, cds, buttons, t-shirts, all the usual merch.

This is a fundraiser to help print the next issue of lip, as we don't know if we're going to get funding for next year. So come along, say hi, and enjoy the first of hopefully many more Artcore events. Canberra is so lacking in a decent non-mainstream arts scene. If all goes well tomorrow, we'll probably do it again next year.

playing catch up

For ages now, I've been reading everyone's blogs via RSS, rather than actually visiting the site. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but it means I have been missing out on all the interaction that goes with commenting.

So I just want to say, I've been missing you all and I'll be stopping by more often. Even if just voyeuristically, perving on your thoughts without you even knowing about it. It shouldn't sound so sleazy.

Everybody's doin' it.

study day

I'm home today studying as those nice people at work are giving me Fridays off for the rest of the year to stay home and write essays. Sounds like a pretty good deal, huh?

After that amazing storm last night, it's a surprisingly gorgeous day outside today and I'm working on my ibook (with wireless innernet I might add - I know you want one Billy) under the verandah surrounded by ferns and flowers.

And guess who dropped in to say hello...



Baxter didn't even notice.

He's getting Huuuuuge too...

i <3 my ibook

totally converted. sitting in my kitchen with a glass of wine, my puppy and my ibook, streaming Special Requests and listening to the rain outside. something about not being stuck alone in the office while surfing the net appeals immensely.

relief

I got an 83 on my first ever uni paper.

wooooo.

stalking ronan sharkey

Now that I'm back from TINA it's time to get back to the mundane of the everyday. TINA was awesome fun, I lost track of how much ginger beer I drank, how many strangers I spoke to, and how many ks I trekked between the YHA and the Festival Club.

High point: too many to mention. Great music, great people, great beer, great art, great conversation.

Low point: the 6.09am fire alarm and subsequent evacuation on Saturday morning because some inconsiderate twat burnt their toast. Oh, and the drunken yobbos yelling abuse and throwing up in the street after the grand final.

The verdict: count me in for next year!

So, what's with the title of this post? Ronan Sharkey (from JJJ) was speaking on one of the Student Media Conference panels, and I desperately wanted to hear him speak in person. I love his radio voice and so wanted to meet him. But he was a no-show. I stayed for the panel anyway. For the record, Barry Dickens (The Age) is an absolute cracker.