The Rainman wears a big frilly skirt

I've been invited to this whisky tasting night thing - FREE WHISKY - at the Hyatt, and can invite as many people as I want. Only, it's on a week night. Mid-week boozers have never been an issue for him before, but he refuses to come along because he can't face work another day with a hangover. We've all done it many many many times before. Over 12 (legal) years of seasoned drinking and he decides NOW to worry about what the boss thinks when he walks in next morning soaking in it. Did I forget to mention it was FREE WHISKY?

Wuss-bag.

I bet it's more likely his insta-family would disapprove. He's in denial, but he just got Married...with Children in five easy steps.

One: move in with best friend, girlfriend and son.

Two: allow girlfriend to suck RM's cock while best friend is on the night-shift.

Three: she leaves boyfriend and moves in with her mummy.

Four: RM moves out, leaving BF (best friend/boy friend) GF-less, friendless, son-less and having to pay the rent all by himself.

Five: GF plus son spend all their time at RM's place, thus he is the new daddy.

Hope she gives good and it's all worth it - that kid is a little shit.

Did I mention I'm getting FREE WHISKY at the HYATT???

oops

Missed my two year blog-iversary by 11 days.

Happy blog-day to me.

honestly now

So, it’s official – I got the job and I’m movin’ on. So why is the pace picking up instead of slowing down? I’m stuffed and I still have five weeks before starting in the new place. This should be the time of delegation; instead my in-tray piles higher and deadlines get shorter and I’m tempted to call in sick for the next four and a half weeks (only to allow for the desk-cleaning, stationery-pilfering and farewell lunch).

The possibility I might return (only for more money) means I can’t really tell people what I really think before I go. Not bridge-burning exactly, but I can’t yet even consider brutal honesty that is uncomfortable in the everyday.

“Your halitosis can clear a 10 x 10 room”

“That shade of lippy would better suit a colour-blind 80-year-old”

“I would rather set my desk up in the dusty, smoky, mouse-ridden basement car park store room than share my salmon-coloured cubicle with that man.”

Maybe. Soon.

speaking of physical appearance...

Some people look like other people. Supposedly everyone out there has a twin. Not of the same parentage - you may never meet your twin, ever.

(The Rainman once forwarded me pictures of my twin, which he found on the internet, in her underwear. Spitting image, only she had smaller boobs and a belly ring.)

Tonight at the supermarket I saw a girl I've recently met and had several face to face conversations with. I think. It could have been her twin. Then again, she may have the kind of face that leaves no lasting impression, therefore she could look like anyone.

Some people look like other people. So I didn't say hi.

Now I feel bad on two counts. First, for not saying hi. That's not so bad, as I can pretend I didn't actually see her, if she mentions it. Second, for her making so little an impact on me that I can't remember what she looks like enough to recognise her in public.

Then again, I look at my own face everyday and can't remember what I look like (see previous post). So maybe I don't have to feel so bad after all. I blame Jack.

warped

You know how you sound different to yourself when you hear your voice recorded? This also applies to the way you visualise yourself until you see your actual reflection.

I'm trying to give myself a mental cut and colour - flipping through magazines and visualising myself with the same style. In my head it looks great, of course. Then I look in the mirror and realise it would never suit me.

My internal view of my own face is as warped as the sound of my voice to anyone but me.

multiplicity

Another job interview. This one has my supervisor in a panic. She knows more than she's letting on. And knows she'll have to work miracles to get me back.

It's nice being fought over.

Especially as there could be a third contender poaching for my skills. Maybe I should have myself cloned. Though that could end the bidding wars.

I just wish they'd hurry up and make a decision already.