mal-icious

Memoirs as therapy

2010-08-06T12:13:00.000+10:00

Some people shouldn't share their life's experiences. We don't find you inspiring. We don't feel sorry for you. We just think you're a gullible twit. There.

2010-08-05T15:37:00.000+10:00

my motivation is totally in the toilet this week.

This ship has sunk

2010-07-21T15:08:00.000+10:00

Glad I jumped when I did, and the uniforms are much greener here. Probs the grass would be too if I knew where to look.

Some things never change

2010-07-14T14:51:00.000+10:00

or only change a bit. Good to see some of the regulars are still around. Ran into Error404 in an unexpected forum. Surprised she remembered me. Wonder if the others will...

Back?

2010-06-07T11:15:00.000+10:00

Revisiting old habits, with a facelift. Lost my blog roll in the process. Going ghosthunting. Maybe I'll see you soon.

xx
M

daydreaming at work

2007-09-19T11:23:00.000+10:00

Finally a project to transport me into an ancient world of kings and secret messages carved into tombs. Tales of Sea Peoples and pirates and trade for oils and wines.

And all the romance is in my head, because this manuscript is too analytical to support such notions.

But the pictures are pretty cool.

stating the obvious

2007-09-18T12:42:00.000+10:00

It's so good to have you around...just in case my eyes and ears and brain suddenly stop working.

The Return

2007-08-31T10:40:00.000+10:00

One whole year. Did you miss me?

oops

2006-08-31T16:41:00.000+10:00

Missed my two year blog-iversary by 11 days.

Happy blog-day to me.

honestly now

2006-08-31T16:38:00.000+10:00

So, it’s official – I got the job and I’m movin’ on. So why is the pace picking up instead of slowing down? I’m stuffed and I still have five weeks before starting in the new place. This should be the time of delegation; instead my in-tray piles higher and deadlines get shorter and I’m tempted to call in sick for the next four and a half weeks (only to allow for the desk-cleaning, stationery-pilfering and farewell lunch).

The possibility I might return (only for more money) means I can’t really tell people what I really think before I go. Not bridge-burning exactly, but I can’t yet even consider brutal honesty that is uncomfortable in the everyday.

“Your halitosis can clear a 10 x 10 room”

“That shade of lippy would better suit a colour-blind 80-year-old”

“I would rather set my desk up in the dusty, smoky, mouse-ridden basement car park store room than share my salmon-coloured cubicle with that man.”

Maybe. Soon.

warped

2006-08-07T16:43:00.000+10:00

You know how you sound different to yourself when you hear your voice recorded? This also applies to the way you visualise yourself until you see your actual reflection.

I'm trying to give myself a mental cut and colour - flipping through magazines and visualising myself with the same style. In my head it looks great, of course. Then I look in the mirror and realise it would never suit me.

My internal view of my own face is as warped as the sound of my voice to anyone but me.

multiplicity

2006-08-03T13:44:00.000+10:00

Another job interview. This one has my supervisor in a panic. She knows more than she's letting on. And knows she'll have to work miracles to get me back.

It's nice being fought over.

Especially as there could be a third contender poaching for my skills. Maybe I should have myself cloned. Though that could end the bidding wars.

I just wish they'd hurry up and make a decision already.

sucker

2006-07-31T16:54:00.000+10:00

i keep trying to let go of this thing, but it has a stranglehold on me. the more i struggle, the deeper it pulls me into the swamp.

i feel obligated,
and my hope still soars

weird

2006-07-21T20:31:00.000+10:00

chatting with my parents on MSN

lost cause

2006-07-13T15:22:00.000+10:00

Things are not looking good around here. The only solution is to make the best of what’s left, and move on. I had hoped through change I would make success. But change was not forthcoming, was blocked by those more stubborn than I. Thus failure is eminent.

(sabotage?)

If I don’t get my way, does my subconscious impair my actions to the contrary, despite best intentions on the surface?

(resentment)

We’ve come a long way, perhaps further than most. I had my doubts months ago about our long-term survival – looks like I was right.

(aren’t i always?)

And now I’m planning a change in direction. I’ve bought the supplies and read the instructions, and am almost ready to roll.

Just need to do a few last minute things first…

lord of war

2006-07-01T10:36:00.000+10:00

Nicolas Cage, on the other hand, is fucking brilliant.

*sigh*

hostel

2006-06-26T16:49:00.000+10:00

Quentin Tarantino is a sick little monkey.

sick

2006-06-19T16:35:00.000+10:00

Lately I've been sick with what I've dubbed "the knee flu".

Knee Flu???

I haven't been able to walk properly for days - the pain is beyond description. I thought I had an early onset of arthritis. My doctor corrected this self-diagnosis - "just flu" he said.

I haven't told anyone about the sore throat that accompanied my ailment. That would just leave things wide open for an onslaught of snickering and fellatio jokes.

I'm not in the mood, honey.

And my boyfriend is not that lucky :)

chicken

2006-06-09T13:20:00.000+10:00

only eating the processed variety now.

what i don't know can't hurt me, right?

also really big on hotdogs lately.

it's not about the pain

2006-06-01T15:36:00.001+10:00

Walking through the mall just now (obviously not at work like I should be) I came across a group of young thangs, the leeder of this group a guy in a beenie swinging an umbrella around and around like he’s singing in the rain, only indoors, and there was no singing.

I stumble across strange thoughts when less important things (like work) fail to occupy my mind. On this occasion it was thus: if I were to receive a gouge in the eye by the pointy end of his brolly,

what would my scream sound like?

huh?

2006-05-31T16:22:00.000+10:00

It takes a while for me to emerge from my (i)pod, and my initial response is commonly construed as disdain. By the time I am coherent enough to fully participate in your world again, the conversation is long over and I’m left feeling like I’ve said something arrogant, or stupid, or nonsensical. A bit like the tail-end of a 12 hour drinking binge. The words are sharp but the planes are grounded due to fog.

2006-05-31T15:47:00.000+10:00

still not eating chicken

it's not a tumour...???

2006-05-21T18:50:00.000+10:00

Attention Woolworths shoppers...

I strongly recommend buying your chicken from the deli from now on. Pre-packed chicken is clearly packaged is such a way to conceal unidentifiable conditions such as this: (apologies for the blurry photo - I'm still feeling rather nauseous)

Can anyone explain to me why the inside of this chicken tenderloin is green? Hopefully the Woolies staff will when I show it to them tomorrow morning.

perception

2006-05-09T13:51:00.000+10:00

suddenly everyone around here is concerned with perception...
how things look to those not in the know...
what we are perceived to be doing, rather than what we are actually doing.

if they knew what i was actually doing right now, they'd have something to be concerned about...

strangely, i've been told that i have nothing to be concerned about...

guess i'm good at creating false perceptions.

trust me.

sighted

2006-05-05T11:02:00.000+10:00

a middle-aged man
in a business suit
sucking on a lolly-pop
trying to look cute

confessions

2006-05-03T20:05:00.000+10:00

how is it that someone you considered so straight to the verge of homophobia suddenly reveals he allowed a guy to suck his cock? not an unusual occurance in itself, but surely not this guy...

he's a deviant, and often makes up stories in attempt to freak me out. what is more likely though, is that he let this happen just so they would get busted by the other guy's mum.

10,000 days

2006-05-03T16:54:00.000+10:00

I finally got the long-awaited new Tool album yesterday. I could have got up early on Saturday morning and lined up outside Sanity to get my copy sooner, but I hate lines.

Passionately.

So I've listened to it six times over already and all I can say is...

Fuck.
Yeah.

innerview

2006-04-20T10:17:00.000+10:00

I had my interview yesterday. I think it went pretty well - in fact I'm feeling pretty confident.

I also think I made an arse of myself.

They seemed pretty impressed with what I can do, but my ability to articulate that left a lot to be desired, from my perspective anyway. This is why I got into publishing.

If I could talk good I would probably be working in PR.

moving

2006-04-12T21:11:00.000+10:00

i'm thinking about moving.

moving house. moving cities. moving countries.

i have a job interview next week, so at the very least i might be moving to a new office soon. might.

it's a two-hour interview. one hour face-to-face, one hour written task. i guess the eight pages of writing that comprised my application wasn't enough.

is it the wrong attitude to have to not care if i get it? will they be able to tell?

breaking up is hard to do

2006-04-07T10:16:00.000+10:00

how do you let go of something you have invested so much time and love and energy into? how do you conclude that this thing will never be what you worked so hard to make it?

i know sometimes it's better to cut your losses, but this can be so hard when for so long you thought it could work out. for a long time i was truly convinced it would be a success, take off and fly to the moon. late nights and cat fights weren't a deterrent because i believed.

this faith, this desire to really make it real, has passed out from exhaustion.

bloodlines

2006-03-26T21:37:00.000+11:00

why is it so difficult for people to follow instructions? it's right there in black and red. any redder and it would be written in my own blood.

my back hurts and my nose is bleeding again, and all i want is a panadine forte and a glass of red wine, and to sleep until midday, or maybe later.

hanging out for easter when the mag will be off the press and the editor off my back.

busy busy busy

2006-03-07T14:53:00.000+11:00

buzzing around

launching books
rebranding businesses
art directing magazines
running competitions
making movies
designing websites
planning events

not sleeping much

certainly not blogging much

mum's the word

2006-02-21T12:58:00.000+11:00

Lately I've done or said something that reminds me of my mum.

Sometimes this makes me smile.

Other times this makes me scared.

hunt

2006-02-16T15:49:00.000+11:00

applying for jobs even though I'm not entirely dissatisfied with this one yet.

a pay rise would be nice though.

2006-02-14T13:59:00.000+11:00

because going off my diet means i can now eat whatever the hell i want

messy

2006-02-10T20:03:00.000+11:00

One of the hardest aspects of my job is dealing with mortality. I'm not talking about the medical profession - watching patients die, or trying to prevent it - but the historical aspect of war.

I'll play PS games, such as Medal of Honor, and try to kill off as much of the enemy as I can to complete my mission. Then come Monday I have to read and edit the stories of those that were actually there.

They weren't playing with simulators or 3D action games - they were there. Real blood, real screams, real pain.

And I get to read and censor their innermost thoughts of what really went on. There was no score board. There were no bonus points. Just a brutal bloody mess that they try to leave behind and that we reconstruct as entertainment.

Welcome to the Ice Box

2006-02-06T13:07:00.001+11:00

Dear Building Maintenance Manager,

As you are most likely aware, it is around 35 degrees outside, and thus we should be eternally grateful we inhabit this wonderful air-conditioned building eight hours a day. Especially those on the first floor who must really be feeling the heat and have requested that the air conditioning be turned up.

Now that the first floor occupants are blissfully conformable, I would like to alert you to the fact that IT IS FUCKING FREEZING UP HERE on the third floor. I have been scavenging through the lost and found in the hope I may find a sherpa coat or similar. I have also put in an office supplies requisition for more tissues, as these are currently in short supply.

I would like to request that the temperature be adjusted to something that reflects "normal" office conditions. The first floor people aren’t even there right now as, while I press myself against the double glazed windows in the hope that I may feel some of that 35 degree warmth from outside, I can see the first floor people drinking icy cold beers in the pub next door.

In conclusion, please turn the aircon down before I take someone’s eyes out with my snap-frozen nipples.

Regards
M

bidding wars

2006-02-06T09:02:00.000+11:00

Bidding on eBay is a cut-throat business. The addiction is paralysing from the waist down. And the second you look away a foot will appear from thin air, tripping you up a nose away from the finish line. And the spoils of war go to the other side.

trailer trash

2006-02-04T12:14:00.000+11:00

Public displays of domestic disputes are not a good look.

bestest ever

2006-01-31T08:53:00.000+11:00

you're my new best friend... you just don't know it yet

I <3 long weekends

2006-01-27T09:23:00.000+11:00

Watching flies draw geometric patterns in the air and listening to the neighbour's new puppy in a howling war with the rooster, while Baxter sits at my feet and licks my toes.

btw

2006-01-23T11:48:00.000+11:00

I've given up the smokes again. It was a brief and sordid affair.

Exploring new vices. As much as the regime will allow. Could this be considered cheating?

2006-01-08T20:13:00.000+11:00

Those who have wings have no fear of heights

reunion

2006-01-04T18:23:00.000+11:00

These last few weeks have been a time of reunion. I've been called out of the blue by kids I went to school with, and have caught up with old friends I haven't seen in ten years. It has been weird, and strangely comforting, but mostly weird.

This afternoon I've been browsing my blog archives, reading long-forgotten comments and wanting to respond knowing no one would likely find them again. Instead, I visited blogs of people who have left their mark briefly, and I left a smudge of my own.

It'll be fun to see who shows up to this reunion of mine.

conehead

2006-01-04T15:19:00.001+11:00

In addition to looking after the boy now he's home and in a back brace, I have to look after this too:

Welcome

2006-01-03T10:17:00.002+11:00

2006 rang in unnoticed, overwhelmed by Xmas Part II and the boy coming home. His Xmas day spent in hospital was uneventful, except the news of recovery and escape. Now he is free and his 30th b'day was much more celebrated than New Years.

2005 was a good year, with the exception of the last few weeks. Here's to more of the same for 2006, with the exception of the last few weeks. Of course.

Goals and Challenges for this year. Goal: Stick with the diet until I can fit in my favourite Little Black Dress again. Challenge: Find a publishing job in Sydney that pays at least the same, if not more, than my current job (there's no point moving there to pay twice as much rent AND take a pay cut). Goal: Complete at least four more units towards my degree, one of which should be a studio unit as I'm tired of writing essays. Challenge: Try to get along better with the New Girl at work. Goal: Publish more work in the mag, and Challenge: maybe try to get something published somewhere else. Goal: Get the magazine to the point where I can finally get paid for it. Challenge: Kidnap the neighbour's rooster so I can finally get a decent night's sleep without the assistance of alcohol.

That is all.

gestures

2005-12-19T21:04:00.000+11:00

a Get Well Soon card signed by thirty people he's never met is clearly more for my benefit than his. i want to send email updates to my collegues so they'll stop asking me how he's doing. i'm tired of playing reruns.

tonight i learned the term "voyeuristic trauma" and perhaps it applies here. people want trauma in their lives, but not directly, maybe so they can be reminded they don't have it so bad if they don't get everything they want for Christmas.

2005-12-17T13:09:00.000+11:00

toilet paper is not a good substitute for paper towels when heating up pizza pockets in the microwave.

pain

2005-12-15T17:59:00.000+11:00

time makes no sense in hospital. time heals all wounds, they say, though sometimes I wonder if this phrase really only applies to wounds of the emotional kind. these wounds are going to take love and strength and some really good drugs.

the longer i sit here, the longer it seems to take for the smallest signs of progress. normal bodily functions are an event to celebrate. you want time to go quickly, for the pain to vanish. though time is all he has. it seems to drag when he is sleeping, and what feels like twenty minutes of desperately needed uninterrupted sleep turns out to be only two or three, before the violent spasms waken him with the force to bend his broken back the wrong way.

time here is measured in winks between spasms. hours between the meds, and what can seem like hours between hitting that button and the response. smiles are few and far between, screams are much more frequent.

staff are only caring and competent when they know i'm watching. i don't dare leave his side in case they forget him. i know they work horrendous shifts and long hours. i know that they have seen more pain and cleaned more crap than i could ever imagine. but they don't know what i see. they don't wipe the tears and feel his grip tighten when the pain shoots through like a bushfire. and they don't see the pleading in his eyes to get-him-the-fuck-outta-this-place. it's their job to look after the guy who is the centre of my universe so i can take him home.

this happens every day for them. they have experience. he has morphine. so i have cigarettes.

2005-12-14T11:36:00.001+11:00

cigarettes are sweet right now

ghost town

2005-12-01T20:23:00.000+11:00

looking for some new blogs to haunt, but almost every one i land on is abandoned, leaving me chasing tumbleweeds.

elvis has left the building my friends.

The Rainman strikes again

2005-12-01T18:12:00.000+11:00

What kind of nut-job turns down a FREE CURRY BANQUET to go see Harry Potter?

The OC

2005-12-01T17:43:00.000+11:00

The other day I witnessed a woman with obsessive compulsive disorder performing her little ritual of locking her car in the carpark. She would tap her index and middle finger up and down the window, then check that she had indeed locked her car. Then repeat.

tap tap tap tap tap tap
rattle rattle

tap tap tap tap tap tap
rattle rattle

tap tap tap tap tap tap
rattle rattle

This went on for quite some time. And I sat in my car for a while, watching and smirking. I shouldn't have found it amusing.

Just when she (I thought) had finished her routine, she went around to the other side of the car and proceeded to repeat the ritual several more times.

tap tap tap tap tap tap
rattle rattle

I couldn't stay for the whole performance - who knows how long this went on for.

smirk

Yesterday I found my house keys in my front door - they had been there all night long and most of the day. I've since had my locks rekeyed - just in case.

I think I want OCD.

29

2005-11-25T08:45:00.000+11:00

Today is my birthday. Happy birthday to me.

Today is also Buy Nothing Day and White Ribbon Day.

For my birthday I want you all to Buy Nothing EXCEPT a White Ribbon.

go.

worth it

2005-11-20T10:29:00.000+11:00

giving of time, for no reward other than self-satisfaction and the joy of seeing one’s name in print. Being part of it all, not just a spectator. Earning the title, unlike those who seek praise and glory for the smallest contributions.

and yet

bloody the pages for there’s nothing left to give.

quit your day job and live off the credit; that should be enough to sustain you.

love the labour of this Labour of Love. There is no time to love anything but, and those that love you must come second if, at the end of the day, there’s anything left to spare.

silly things make me smile

2005-11-18T14:22:00.000+11:00

A man went to the zoo.

When he got there, there was only a dog.

It was a shitzu.

seeking the activist in you

2005-11-17T09:41:00.001+11:00

So, we're having some issues getting the magazine out into the world, especially schools and libraries. Seems it's too risque for them.

We're now thinking that should become part of our strategy, and do some real grassroot activist-style marketing to get people to read lip.

Any ideas?

in our midst

2005-11-15T17:48:00.000+11:00

Someone, or a number of someones, is going around stealing hubcaps near where I work, including mine. Not the whole set, mind, just the front driver's side hubcap. At first I thought it was just me, that mine came loose when going through Carlovers. But surely I would have noticed when I got home afterwards.

No, it's definitely a serial offender. I have of late observed a growing number of cars missing their front driver's side hubcap. I feel as though we should have a secret wave or something, unwittingly part of the same club. The other day I also saw one hanging from a tree outside the post office like a Christmas tree ornament. Shame it doesn't match mine.

Not that it matters. I'm getting mags for my birthday next weekend. Sweeeet.

my first attempt at a vector drawing

2005-11-11T15:04:00.000+11:00

last minute angst

2005-11-09T19:41:00.001+11:00

For some reason I'm finding myself taking on all the last minute artwork for the magazine. WTF??? I can't draw!!!

[So why am I studying a visual arts degree?]

I'm loving Illustrator and vectors so much right now. Maybe I'll post something when I'm finished...

the ultimate accessory

2005-10-31T20:28:00.000+11:00

Almost every girl I know lately has a gay best friend. They do all the things one would expect a straight girl-gay guy couple to do - perve on boys, go shopping, whinge about the size of their butt... They can pass out in the same bed after too much boozing and no one would bat an eyelid or start devious little rumours.

The Rainman fits into that role almost perfectly, except he's not gay. He has terrible dress sense and his fat bits are located elsewhere, but we go shopping together and I'll point out hot chicks that he should talk to but is too shy. Or lazy. Sometimes I wish he was gay - I don't know why, it really doesn't matter who he doesn't sleep with. Is it because having a gay best friend is the trendy thing right now?

I actually did have a gay best friend once, in high school. I think I drove him away by feigning homophobia just to get him to come out. He moved away after graduation and I never heard from him again, despite my weak attempts to track him down through his stepmother. He committed suicide a couple of years ago. High school was tough but he never let anything phase him. Life after school must have been tougher. I'm sorry.

tricky

2005-10-31T20:12:00.000+11:00

If I can catch it, I'm going to feed the neighbours' rooster to the trick-or-treaters.

excuses

2005-10-31T20:04:00.000+11:00

I blame daylight savings for my latest essay being late. And for me being a total nasty to my coworkers. I also blame my new diet.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if I started smoking again.

Aussie friendship

2005-10-28T13:52:00.000+10:00

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the dirty bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had a root.

4. When you are scared - I will give you shit about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to stop your bloody whinging.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again, I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy arse.

This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend.

Send this to ten of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two, and one of them isn't speaking to you right now anyway.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.

So let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.

ballsy

2005-10-24T13:49:00.001+10:00

I was in a certain department store at lunchtime to buy desperately needed underwear for the boy, as he has never-in-his-life-bought-underwear-and-is-not-about-to-start-now. Aren’t I the most spectacular girlfriend ever for tolerating this stubbornness? It’s only fair I guess – I’ve sent him out for emergency tampons on more than one occasion. So I got him one of those seven-packs – one for every day of the week – in solid colours, none of those weird patterned undies thank you.

At the checkout the girl asked "Are these for your boyfriend?"

I wanted to laugh and tell her "No honey, these are for me. I know women’s underwear is so much more comfortable, but at the moment they just don’t offer the support I need. They won’t be able to finish the job for a few more months yet, and I can’t wait! They did such a good job on my boobies…"

Instead I just nodded, paid the girl and left. I don’t have the balls to make a crack like that to a stranger (pun definitely intended).

showing off

2005-10-17T18:25:00.000+10:00

the new girl is making "the old girl" look bad: lazy and incompetent. makes it hard to justify that promotion she got. so i think the new girl is a shoo-in for permanancy. guess i better start liking her then.

playing catch up

2005-10-14T15:03:00.000+10:00

For ages now, I've been reading everyone's blogs via RSS, rather than actually visiting the site. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but it means I have been missing out on all the interaction that goes with commenting.

So I just want to say, I've been missing you all and I'll be stopping by more often. Even if just voyeuristically, perving on your thoughts without you even knowing about it. It shouldn't sound so sleazy.

Everybody's doin' it.

study day

2005-10-14T12:12:00.000+10:00

I'm home today studying as those nice people at work are giving me Fridays off for the rest of the year to stay home and write essays. Sounds like a pretty good deal, huh?

After that amazing storm last night, it's a surprisingly gorgeous day outside today and I'm working on my ibook (with wireless innernet I might add - I know you want one Billy) under the verandah surrounded by ferns and flowers.

And guess who dropped in to say hello...

Baxter didn't even notice.

He's getting Huuuuuge too...

i <3 my ibook

2005-10-13T20:07:00.000+10:00

totally converted. sitting in my kitchen with a glass of wine, my puppy and my ibook, streaming Special Requests and listening to the rain outside. something about not being stuck alone in the office while surfing the net appeals immensely.

relief

2005-10-04T20:19:00.000+10:00

I got an 83 on my first ever uni paper.

wooooo.

stalking ronan sharkey

2005-10-04T20:07:00.000+10:00

Now that I'm back from TINA it's time to get back to the mundane of the everyday. TINA was awesome fun, I lost track of how much ginger beer I drank, how many strangers I spoke to, and how many ks I trekked between the YHA and the Festival Club.

High point: too many to mention. Great music, great people, great beer, great art, great conversation.

Low point: the 6.09am fire alarm and subsequent evacuation on Saturday morning because some inconsiderate twat burnt their toast. Oh, and the drunken yobbos yelling abuse and throwing up in the street after the grand final.

The verdict: count me in for next year!

So, what's with the title of this post? Ronan Sharkey (from JJJ) was speaking on one of the Student Media Conference panels, and I desperately wanted to hear him speak in person. I love his radio voice and so wanted to meet him. But he was a no-show. I stayed for the panel anyway. For the record, Barry Dickens (The Age) is an absolute cracker.

This Is Not....

2005-09-23T09:12:00.000+10:00

... a good time for blogging. Or reading blogs. Or surfing the 'net. Or reading comic books. My second essay, on ideology and its use in propaganda and advertising, is due this weekend, and I'm procrastinating. I know nothing about Marxist theory.

Instead, I'm getting very excited because TINA (This is Not Art) fest is only 6 days away. Mostly going for the Student Media Conference, and because lipmag (ie. Rachel) is speaking on a few panels (I don't do public speaking - just pub-speak). But the art and the daggy-gorgeous fashion and the alcholic ginger beer and the music and the parties ... it will be fun fun fun.

I'm mixing cds for the 6-hour road trip - 8 if you include all the toilet breaks Rachel makes me take. Iron bladder versus swiss cheese bladder, makes for an interesting travel duo. Music is yet another challenge as she likes Ani and I love Maynard.

the end is nigh

2005-09-22T16:43:00.000+10:00

tomorrow is d-day and i've gone into the field without any ammo. the mission could fail...

the only thing that can save us now is a sick-day.

premature education

2005-09-18T13:46:00.000+10:00

I haven't yet finished my first uni assignment and already I'm thinking about cracking a new bottle and putting my feet up.

trivial friday

2005-09-16T15:42:00.000+10:00

lately the Rainman and I are hooked on boardgames. is it a hibernation thing? a fad that's going around like the flu? an alternative to the friday drinking games we usually play, bouncing a ten cent piece into a glass with precision and class? the latter is an old-time tradition we've upheld for years and still comes to the fore when we can no longer read the small print. i suspect tonight will be no different - only the flavours change.

Bourbon or Scotch?

sneaky

2005-09-16T13:06:00.000+10:00

sneaking home at lunchtime to play with my puppy... and taking the work car.

trouble seems to follow me everywhere

2005-09-16T10:09:00.000+10:00

i'm in the precarious situation of being expected to rat on my co-workers. i don't really know how i got dragged into this. they don't get along. the new girl wants to do things her way. the girl who used to sit there did things differently. and she's the possessive type. i don't care how things are done 'round here, just as long as i get my supplies on time, and as long as i don't have to tell tales to the boss.

just when i thought things were going to get better now Letch is gone, we enter the conflict zone once more.

extasy

2005-09-15T21:45:00.000+10:00

when i come home from work each day, my dog is so happy to see me his whole body wags - not just his tail. like an epileptic fit while standing.

not tonight dear

2005-09-15T21:27:00.000+10:00

forget trying to study after several glasses of red. it's just not going to happen tonight. instead, just look at the pictures and try not to knock the glass over.

name that tune

2005-09-13T16:27:00.000+10:00

or rather, name the song this line comes from...

We knew all the answers
and we shouted them out like anthems

it's just one of those lines that's been stuck in my head ever since I heard it - on Fashion TV of all places

too lazy or too busy?

2005-08-31T09:04:00.000+10:00

lately there's not much difference

2005-08-18T21:20:00.000+10:00

How different would the world be today if Jesus had been a girl?

pathetic

2005-08-17T13:00:00.000+10:00

how many people do you know will retire from their job one week, and return the next week to work for free, even though they are not needed, wanted or liked by any of the other staff?

i know one...

newbie

2005-08-15T20:08:00.000+10:00

the new girl is not going to be popular. her mobile phone ringtone is a crowing rooster.

[like i don't get enough of that at home. there should be a law against livestock in the suburbs.]

and she's already whinging about the job. seems it wasn't what she expected. let's see how long this one lasts.

happiness...

2005-08-11T20:17:00.000+10:00

is wet puppydog kisses and
someone else to wash the dishes and
a nice glass of red and
fresh sheets on the bed and

the only thing to wreck it is knowing I have to get up early in the morning for a 16 hour day with no overtime

farewell and fuck off already

2005-08-10T21:01:00.000+10:00

"I know you've only come to make sure I leave," ended probably the lamest thank you and goodbye speech I've witnessed in forever. It would almost be true except I only went for the gourmet pizza, and the dumb shit doesn't actually leave until tomorrow.

what's shitting me off today

2005-08-10T11:06:00.000+10:00

self-important people who show up late and don't have to do any of the work, but reap all the reward

(just happens to be the very same self-important prick who took the staff car out for personal reasons and made me late for my meeting yesterday, even though I booked it first)

this guy suffers from little-man syndrome (weighs in maybe at 55kg - tops), and his arsehole makes up at least 60% of his body mass

as Letch is leaving us (finally), this guy has moved into the number one position on my "make him miserable till he leaves" list

hooray for boobies

2005-08-07T09:54:00.000+10:00

Last Friday night was no ordinary Friday night. The Rainman rocked up on my doorstep with shredded paper, flour and paint and insisted I help him make a pinata for a friend's birthday party the following night.

Normally I'd tell him to bugger off - I wasn't invited to the party. I don't even know this girl. But I'd already consumed much bourbon and it sounded like fun. I haven't done paper mache since primary school.

So after more bourbon and flour-glue, this is what we ended up with:

Pretty good so far...

Saturday morning we painted. Then the Rainman made breakfast while it dried. I can feel my arteries hardening already.

Then we praised ourselves about how we kick arse at paper mache.

Then I found out later that ungrateful bitch didn't even smash it. And there was like, five or six bags of lollies in there...

panty raid

2005-07-27T13:31:00.000+10:00

Baxter has taken to stealing my underwear. As if sniffing crotch isn't enough...

Trepidation

2005-07-26T09:19:00.000+10:00

She steps in the door to be greeted by the boss and curious passersby. She swallows and tries not to show fear to the minions, who will devour her when the boss is out of sight. Her new space is cluttered with the remnants of the previous occupant, who left in quite a hurry, and the discarded items left there by those too lazy (or inconsiderate) to dispose of them properly.

And after the smiles and welcomes and coffee and pie are all gone, the new girl sits in her salmon-coloured cubicle, alone, overwhelmed, and completely clueless as to what to do now. Shrouded in files and leaky pens, her desk is testament to her new life. And she sits behind it. And waits.

you know someone's slacking off...

2005-07-22T14:46:00.000+10:00

...when your work email gets more spam than your hotmail account. So much for our so-called high security IT environment.

awake is the new sleep

2005-07-19T09:03:00.000+10:00

Ben wasn't kidding. Here's what's been keeping me awake lately.

Meet Baxter. Awwwww.....

Don't worry, this won't turn into one of those "I love my puppy" blogs. But he does deserve a mention now because he's the latest addition to my life. And he's cute.

compulsory

2005-07-13T16:03:00.000+10:00

meetings should always be accompanied by a bottle of red, or choc chip cookies - depending on the time of day.

i should be working

2005-07-12T16:25:00.000+10:00

here only in body... mind and spirit are on vacation

T minus 13

2005-07-12T13:26:00.000+10:00

(working) days and counting.

speaking in code

2005-07-11T13:11:00.000+10:00

taking a sick day to catch up on my other job. and sleep. spent all weekend reading the Da Vinci Code. i can't help but be a bit disappointed in the ending. part of me wants them to ruin it for everyone, but part of me agrees with it. people should make their own decisions about these things... when they are ready.

2005-07-09T17:07:00.000+10:00

and the Rainman cometh...

too many secrets

2005-07-08T13:44:00.000+10:00

I've been told I have to apply for a 'Secret' security clearance for work. Which is fucking hilarious. Everyone knows I can't keep a secret...

Hittin' the books (again)

2005-07-08T09:18:00.000+10:00

Under my highschool year book photo (graduation year) are the words:

Future Occupation: Student

At the time, I was very non-plussed with my friends, who thought that was actually funny. I was going to get a real job! I would have a career!

Finally, I am making my way down my career path, despite a myriad of meaningless and unrewarding jobs. Yet, since I graduated highschool, I have also been continuously studying some TAFE diploma or a short course in something or other. And after an eight month break from the books, I'm going back for more.

For the first time in my "professional student" career though, I'm actually going to be a uni student. By correspondence. But in three years time I'll get to put some letters after my name.

BA(VA)

Yeah, it's an Arts degree. But hey, I'm already in the industry, so it might actually be useful.

Can't believe those useless friends of mine were actually right though...

2005-07-04T16:38:00.000+10:00

all my idols are absent